Alexander The Great

For those who came in late,

Here is where the Phantom Legend began. Oh Alright, out with it!!! This was my first Thursday Night Show for which I had created quite a lot of suspense and excitement by billing it as a surprise… Before this, I used to send a daily staple of jokes, which is still on, hence the reference to the jokes in the fourth paragraph. So don’t mind it, dear newcomer…

Well, Well, Well… So this is the surprise… A mail… What did you thunk??? A bedecked white elephant with 2-foot long ivory teeth will come out of your screen and salute you??? Keep dreaming… So why is it called Thursday Night with Ivan Quadras… Because, you are spending a Friday morning listening to my crap, paying attention to the golden words that drip like honey from my mouth… Alright, there’s a history behind this, oh yes, there is – just like all other things about me!!!

Long ago, when I was like a small band that played the underground circuit which goes from club to club for gigs in search of people who’ll appreciate them and also serve them free beer, I used to send mails to a few of my buddies. I had not much work then, the circuit was small, and quite predictably I used to work late nights, and used to call these shows of mine – Thursday Nights with Ivan Quadras!!! They had my personal musings, and most often, some technical tutorials, mostly on Lotus Notes, which used to rock the pants off my viewers!!! Yeah baby!!! But as the work increased, and so did my fan following (thank you, thank you), I became the international star and started playing to a larger audience, with larger shows, much grandeur, the lights, the ladies, the action!!! Alright, not the ladies, but you get the drift don’t ya???

And in all this, I felt the need to go back to my roots, and also to reinvent myself. You see, there’s only so many ways you can crack jokes, and seriously speaking, I’m no fan of The Bold and The Beautiful or Friends and I feel that an act is good as long as its short and sweet. Which doesn’t mean the jokes will stop – no sirree, they will continue for some time!!! But I begin this new series, Thursday Nights with Ivan Quadras, to bring more vitality and energy into your drab and mediocre existence (There’s no need to thank me, I know you are forever indebted to me and would give me your wife if I asked you to do so).

On mediocrity, I come to my topic. The other day I was listening to this song by Iron Maiden (Up the Irons!!!) called Alexander the Great. The song begins with the line,

“My son, ask for thyself another Kingdom; for that which I leave is too small for thee”

said by Philip of Macedonia to his son Alexander. And I went WOW – Wish my dad would say that to me!!! And I felt, well he must’ve – after all you don’t own kingdoms these days. But think about it – every father leaves a legacy for his son, not maybe in materialistic possessions, but in character, in values, in ideals, in image. And if you’d ask any father what his greatest achievement, his greatest dream would be, it would be to see his son grow more than him, in stature, in character, in wealth, in fame, in glory…

But sometimes, in our own little worlds, we do not understand the potential within us, the Alexander that lies dormant in all of us. How did a 16 year old boy, who could have been satisfied within his small kingdom, dream of ruling the entire Earth? He was a king, no less. Even if he was a king of a very small kingdom, he was king among his men. But he was not satisfied with that. He had ambition, passion, hunger. And that is why the kingdom that his father left for him was too small for him.

Each one of us has an Alexander within us – question is, will we let him come out and conquer our demons, our shortcomings, our near-sightedness; so that we aim for our goals and reach them. For the title ‘Great’ to be attached to your name at the age of 16 is a big, if not the biggest achievement one can make. So aim high, dream big, and bring out that Alexander within you. Because even if your father doesn’t put it in words, he says it with his eyes,

“My son, ask for thyself another Kingdom; for that which I leave is too small for thee.”

Some one has said that there is only place for one at the top. I choose to disagree and say this, “There is a lot of place at the top; all you have to do is carve your own mountain.”

Why do I do this? Because I’m an egotistical maniac who loves bombarding people with my meanderings and thoughts, whether they wish to hear me or no. I feed my ego by catering to a large audience, by playing in a large arena. After all, I’m the superstar!!!! Yeah baby, Rock On, and Have a Nice Weekend!!! Love ya my homies!!!!

And if you disagree with Alexander, you can always take recourse to this joke:

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, “Does this fellow have any money ?”

The daughter shook her head sadly. “Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike.”

Sighing deeply, she replied, “That’s exactly what he asked me about you.”

See ya next Thursday night, people!!!