The ivanblogs Open Air Part 2 – Sex and The Indian City

August 3, 2008

Hoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww is everyone of my beauties????????????????????? Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yoooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???????? Hooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww does it feeeeeeeeeeeelllll to be aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee????

Thank you beautiful people! It’s been a great joy to perform back-to-back, no matter how grueling or mind-wrecking it is, because your love keeps bringing me back to you!!! And today, after many long days, we’ll discuss our favorite subject – SEX!!!

Woooooohoooooooo!!! Can I feel you getting hot under the collar???? I’m getting all randy here!!! But before beginning, have you heard Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love”? I must tell you, that if you haven’t, then download, steal, beg, borrow, but do listen to it – it is one of the sexiest songs about sex! It’s not more about the lyrics, than about the vocals by Robert Plant and the guitaring by Jimmy Page. The haunting, teasing, and at times, taunting vocals of Plant play perfect companion to Page’s riff-driven, orgasm-inducing guitar-work. Even if you never knew the lyrics and didn’t know what they meant, the music in itself will make you jump the bones of any paramour that you may set your eyes on at that moment! And hence, I fear to play it in public on my player!!! After all, there is only so much self-restraint that a decadent man like me can exhibit.

And it is this fear, that makes people fear the power sex, rather than worship the one thing that brought us into this world. It is this latent fear of rock and metal music that made worried parents, Chippy Gore, priests and critics alike to denounce it as the devil’s music. And it is this same fear that grips our politicians and people in positions whenever talks come up for introducing sex-education in schools and colleges. To quote The Joker, Why So Serious when it comes to Sex? Why, does a nation like India, with a billion plus population, with The Kamasutra as its official entry into Booker for any erotic literature category as and when it comes up, with Bollywood and dances in rains in chiffon saris, gets its briefs and panties in a twist when it comes to the three-letter word?

No matter how much we tout ourself as the best place for investment, as the fastest or the second-fastest growing economy, our image is still that of a medieval land plagued by customs and cultures that instead of liberating the human spirit, tie us down in this quagmire of fundamentalism and darkness. A nation that cries foul when a spoof-movie like Love Guru treis to make fun of it. A nation that promptly tears down posters of movies that depict anything sexual in the day, and spends crores of rupees on dancing women in the night. A nation that stinks of hypocrisy and misplaced honor and pride. A nation that kills its daughters for loving or marrying anyone from a different caste, and yet is ready to sell them at a high price to an old foggy past his prime. But nowhere is this disparity, this hypocrisy, this tension seen more than in Indian cities.

Indian cites, like most cities in the world, are migrant settlements. People leave behind their comfortable, but paltry existence, to come here and toil, earn and dream for their future generations. Seeing the mass exodus of people coming in to work, the industrialists and entrepreneurs try to tap this energy by creating more and more avenues for growth. And this leads to cities growing from ramshackle tenements to large, sky-kissing apartments. And the man who came here to work and go back, gets his family here instead and establishes himself in the city. The needs increase, the supply increases. And along with the economic growth, came social growth and reckoning. Faster cars, greater movies, access to the high-life, telecommunications revolution, media, etc. And the cities became a point of contact, not within the nation, but outside the nation. The cities borrowed, redefined and marketed fashion and concepts from the West and other influences, and the smaller towns and villages aped the cities. But in all this, as I mentioned in yesterday’s show, we still did not change from the brutish, carnal monsters that we were. Only the veneer of civilization was painted upon us. The veneer would peel of at times, to show the ugly monster lurking beneath.

If you want to see the sexual tension thick in the air, try traveling in the “Video Coach” of Mumbai local trains. When you are riding in the Mumbai trains, try getting into the coach which is joined to the Ladies First Class coach, and is separated, at times by just a wire mesh. It is tough to get into this coach, because there are many vying for free entertainment there. Hence, the “Video Coach”. Here you’ll find potbellied, short, tall, dark, lanky, beastly, naive, all men, staring indulgently and unabashedly at the women separated from them, as if they were inmates of a different species. There is no cat-whistling, no eve teasing. Just plain, old, lecherous staring. And it isn’t different with the men from the First Class. If anything, they just pride themselves on being better-dressed. Internally, the same beast lurks inside.

I’ve heard of groping and butt-pinching horror stories of Delhi buses. Hell, I’ve heard that traveling in Delhi is unsafe even for lonely guys. And newspapers are filled with crimes of the sexual nature. Police DSPs gang-raping a teenage girl, teachers in Patan raping girls for over two years and making pornographic movies, aptly earning the nicknames “Satans from Patan”. Are these the acts of educated minds? Is this what education makes us into? Where IPS and IAS officers ask for sexual favors, and teachers rape in broad daylight, where walking on the streets dressed up is a crime, and wearing high-heels is an invitation for rape?

The sexual tension in cities is at its breaking point. On one hand is the youth, which is carefree, enjoying life in all its joy and pleasures, and on the other hand we have the socially marginalized, who are at better position perhaps, but do not enjoy such freedom. And when they see it in front of their eyes, like spoiled children they want to grab and destroy. If I can’t get it, I’ll grab it, and then destroy it so that no one else gets it. In a free for all regime, where inhibitions are shed and pleasure is for all, the ones who can’t get it stake their claim at it by grabbing. Much like land-grabbing.

What we need is sensitization towards sex. And no one needs it more than our so-called defenders, the police, the NGOs, the politicians. It is a common fact that it is better to be caught for murder than to be caught for sitting with your girl in a park. The humiliation and the torture may last a lifetime, and in some cases, might turn you gay. Sex education is the call of the day. Together with holistic education. Otherwise, India’s growth story will be like the mythical Chimera or the Trojan Horse. Intel outside, Empty inside.

And here we end our festival mates. But fear not, for any kind of education can be easily sought in my pages, that you read with such relish 😉 People have called in to tell me that they’ve found new self-confidence, new vigor in their lives and that their sex lives have become happier 😀 😀 😀 Rock on, fellas. It felt good performing here. Love you all, and see ya soon. And Maiden, Hallowed Be Thy Name.

The YouTube video for Whole Lotta Love:

The Whole Lotta Love Single Cover

The Whole Lotta Love Single Cover

Jimmy Page downing a bottle of Jack Daniels lik it's Orange Tang!!!

Jimmy Page downing a bottle of Jack Daniels like it's Orange Tang!!!

Robert Plant and Jimmy Page on stage

Robert Plant and Jimmy Page on stage

Hallowed Be Thy Name Single Cover

Hallowed Be Thy Name Single Cover


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