Love Of My Life…

I know, I know… That no matter what I say, do or think, you still won’t be able to erase the feelings of betrayal, loneliness and dejection that I have brought about in my absence. I made love to you like a wild vagabond lover, and left you standing in the rain all alone, when you were in the throes of your passion. But that’s part of me being a vagabond. When I have to go on my quest for myself and the truth, and the truth in myself, and myself in the truth…

But now I’m back, and boy are we gonna have a swell time together!!! We’ll hit all the right spots, and I’ll make up to you for all the time I’ve been away… Promise… So like good love-making, I am not gonna hit the spot early on, but tease you and tempt you about the good things to come 😉 😉 😉 So this is a post for starters, signifying all the good things to come – Welcome to Season 2 of Ivan and His Shining Gun 😉 😉 😉

Overheard at a table at Leopolds

Dude 1: So how’s your love-life?

Dude 2: Non-existent man… No woman, No cry 🙂

Dude 1: You seem to drink a lot. You’ve already had cocktails, beer, and now you are on to whisky. Whoa! That’s lots man!!!

Dude 2: Yeah, you gotta have something to hang out with, right???

Dude 1: Hehe… True… Hmmm, so what all have you tried? I mean in alcohol…

Dude 2: Lots. How about you?

Dude 1: Not much. I stick to beer. Makes me content 😉 😉 😉

Dude 2: Yeah, it used to make me too. At one time. (Pauses and stares at his whisky glass) You know wat, I’ll tell you about all my past loves!!!

Dude 1: Tell me… I’m all ears

Dude 2: My first love was, you know, beer… She was just like any other first love… full of froth, highly addictive, filled you up, and generally good to hang out with among friends… We used to go around a lot, having fun in a group, hanging out with pals, sometimes alone… Those were the days…

Dude 1: Hahaha… Then what happened?

Dude 2: Then? Well, like all first teenage crushes, she started to wear out on me… Made me feel all gassy, and all the eating out I was doing with her didn’t help matters… The belly you see on me now was her parting gift to me… You could say we just phased out, the romance was gone… I still meet her and maybe we get together once in a while, but it’s more often than not just for starters… I’d be bored to death if I spent the whole evening with her and if I took her to bed, you know…

Dude 1: HAHAHA… That’s hilarious… Who was next?

Dude 2: Next was hot!!! I then moved on to Vodka… Man, she was hot. And by hot, I mean smoking hot! Phataka material! We were just like, into each other, man… We made love everywhere, in the sand, in the tub, in the bedroom, on the table, on the kitchen rack… Sometimes, I used to have her just like that, without any mix… And man, she just burnt me up… Totally!!!

Dude 1: Whoa!!! You sure had a good time 😉

Dude 2: Yeah!!! I still reminisce wistfully of her and the torrid times we had…

Dude 1: You had??? What do you mean? What happened with her?

Dude 2: You know how it is when you’re with a hot woman… I mean, we were in the relationship coz of the torrid sex… I’m not saying there was no love, but it was primarily an animal instinct that bonded us so well… And as it happens with many hot-blooded males, I strayed… I started seeing someone else at the same time…

Dude 1: Oh… Who was she?

Dude 2: Ah… Her name was Rum. Thick, earthy, totally bawdy, none of the sophistication of Vodka, but man, could she turn you on!!! It was like going from eating at The Taj to eating at maybe, Bade Miyans… The food is awesome, without the pretence… If Vodka was classy, Rum was down-to-earth… I could enjoy and fall asleep in her arms, literally!!!

Dude 1: WOW!!! That’s hot two-timing man!!!

Dude 2: I know, but like all two-timing affairs, it blew up in my face. You know how it is with mistresses – they are earlier in it for the sex, and then they suddenly start develop feelings for you, and get all clingy. Rum did that after some time. She started taking all of my time, getting on my nerves, to the extent that everytime I slept with her, I was nauseated by the end of it and puked out!!! It got to such an extent that I got totally disgusted with her and threw her out of my life! I’ve never touched her or met her since! I’ve heard she’s doing well for herself with my pals, but I keep away from her.

Dude 1: HAHAHAHAHA!!! You learnt your lesson now, didn’t you? What happened with Vodka?

Dude 2: Well, once she’d known I’d cheated, there was this chasm between us. We still slept with each other, but it was rare, and when we did, it didn’t have all the fun of previous times. But it was for the good. With that experience, I came to understand that maybe in the long run, it wouldn’t have worked with her anyways. It would’ve been better if we both recognized it for what it was – a torrid affair – but both of us had notions of love and loyalty that hurt us all the more. We just drifted off, and she then called me one day to say it can’t go on, and it’s over between us. I tried to reconcile, went really mad, but to no avail. She had gone, and I guess she’d never come back again. I still meet her at times, when she is out with friends, in a common group, but its jus a peck on the cheek or maybe if we are both alone for a while, a little bit of smooching or tonguing, nothing more.

Dude 1: That’s bad man. What did you do then?

Dude 2: I drifted for a long while… Couldn’t really forget Vodka and the good times we had… I went around with a few other women, like Gin, but they were more insipid affairs, only aimed at sating the appetite, than genuine affection… I also tried doing a cocktail many a time with many women together in bed, but at the end of it, it used to leave me exhausted, and hollow… I’d been out of love, and felt I’d never be in love again…

Dude 1: That’s bad man… So you still single and looking around?

Dude 2: No 😀 😀 😀 I’ve found the love of my life!!! Wanna know who she is? No one other than the hot & sultry, Premium Whisky! She’s just like me, been there, been around, has had her share of suitors… But no one treats her like me… From the lowest to the highest class, everyone has her, but no one gives her the respect she deserves! And its so surprising we knew each other snce a long time!!! I used to meet her at parties and other occassions, and we used to share a moment or two, but never more, because she was with some other guy, and that’s one thing about her – she never cheats or sleeps around. So we used to say our goodbyes and go our ways. But then, one day we met, and both of us went totally ga-ga over each other and we were like – Where were you all this while??? I’ve met her and I’m in love with her, and I know she’s the one…

Dude 1: You sound totally love in man!!!

Dude 2: I am!!! You see, it’s all about comfort in the end. I am comfortable with Whisky around me. I don’t have to pamper her, or be totally into her. Sometimes, even a kiss makes her happy and content. And you know what, she loves the way I treat her – like a princess – never mix her with anything, but only ice, just to take the heat off her;) 😉 😉

Dude 1: You have her just like that???

Dude 2: That’s the way you should treat her… I just put in a bit of ice to cool things down between us, but anyways I’ve had her even before the ice is completely melted;) I am a content man finally – who needs women when you have Whisky? Cheers!!!

Dude 1: Cheers!!!

See ya later folks!!! Have fun!!!

P.S. : In case you wanna know and are really curious, Dude 1 is my office colleague Nikhil and Dude 2 is yours truly.