Good Evening – Joke For The Day!!!

August 20, 2009

I’ve turned into Himesh Reshammiya. No seriously. All that eucalyptus oil wherever I go, in the train, in the bus, on the roads, has given me a massive nasal blockage. Some enterprising dude who manufactures Eucalyptus Oil must be raking in the bucks. Seriously, Eucalyptus Oil has many medicinal properties and can cure anything from a blocked, no entry nose to a runny, slimy one – but Swine Flu? If that was true, wouldn’t everyone be free of it? Could Swine Flu actually have become a pandemic? Apparently, it’s all based on a single SMS doing the rounds. Some Excerpts follow:
[…]Swine Flu is spreading in India, and so far it has claimed 7 lives. Now people have got scared, and are searching for things like Swine Flu Symptoms, and how to prevent Swine Flu. Currently an SMS is being circulated which sounds like this – Use “Nilgiri Oil” drops on handkerchiefs and masks as one of the preventive measures against swine flu (N I V) National Institute of Virology. Don’t know whether its true. But one this is true that Nilgiri Oil can surely be helpful in curing running nose which is one on the symptoms of Swine Flu.[…]
[…]Disclaimer : The below information is solely based on the SMS that’s being circulated. The intention of providing this information is just to help people know about the use of “Nilgiri Oil” as one of the preventive measured against Swine Flu. Use at your own risk, consult your family doctor if you have any doubts. Cute Baby Blog will not be responsible for any side, worse or bad effect.

Swine Flu Attack in India made people and their beloved ones get scared with News. Currently an SMS is making rounds in the mobiles. Here’s the SMS Message.

Use “Nilgiri Oil” drops on handkerchiefs and masks as one of the preventive measures against swine flu (N I V) National Institute of Virology.

So, lets start using Eucalyptus Oil and protect ourselves from Swine Flu.

Where can I get Eucalyptus Oil Bottles?
Eucalyptus oil bottles are available in medical stores.

How to use Eucalyptus Oil on Handkerchief?
1. Place a few drops (3-5) of Eucalyptus oil on a handkerchief.
2. Deeply inhale the aroma after every 30 mins.
3. When you go home, put the handkerchief for washing.
4. Use a fresh/washed handkerchief everyday.[…]

Two links which seem sensible:
Swine Flu is the latest hot topic both in India and all over the world. Day by day new cases of Swine flu has been reported in various regions in India. People are on the run for any available medicine for prevention and cure of the disease.

There were reports as cure/prevention is available in Ayurveda and Homeopathy.

Now the latest addition is ‘Nilgiri Oil’ The news about Nilgiri oil is circulated in the form of SMS through mobile phones.

The SMS sounds as follows

Use “Nilgiri Oil” drops on handkerchiefs and masks as one of the preventive measures against swine flu (N I V) National Institute of Vairology.

Since no information like this has been issued by National Institute of Virology (in the SMS it spells Vairology) the information may be treated as spam or a marketing trick.
[…]During the mid-20th century, identification of influenza subtypes became possible, allowing accurate diagnosis of transmission to humans. Since then, only 50 such transmissions have been confirmed. These strains of swine flu rarely pass from human to human. Symptoms of zoonotic swine flu in humans are similar to those of influenza and of influenza-like illness in general, namely chills, fever, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, weakness and general discomfort.[…]

[…]The H1N1 viral strain implicated in the 2009 flu pandemic among humans often is called "swine flu" because initial testing showed many of the genes in the virus were similar to influenza viruses normally occurring in North American swine. But further research has shown that the outbreak is due to a new strain of H1N1 not previously reported in pigs.

In late April, Margaret Chan, the World Health Organization’s director-general, declared a "public health emergency of international concern" under the rules of the WHO’s new International Health Regulations when the first cases of the H1N1 virus were reported in the United States.[…]There are fears that swine flu will become a major global pandemic in the winter months, with many countries planning major vaccination campaigns.[…]

[…]Vaccines are available for different kinds of Swine Flu. Although the current trivalent influenza vaccine is unlikely to provide protection against the new 2009 H1N1 strain, vaccines against the new strain are being developed and could be ready as early as November 2009.[…]

The clincher:
[…]If a person becomes sick with swine flu, antiviral drugs can make the illness milder and make the patient feel better faster. They may also prevent serious flu complications. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms). Beside antivirals, supportive care at home or in hospital, focuses on controlling fevers, relieving pain and maintaining fluid balance, as well as identifying and treating any secondary infections or other medical problems. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends the use of Tamiflu (oseltamivir) or Relenza (zanamivir) for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with swine influenza viruses; however, the majority of people infected with the virus make a full recovery without requiring medical attention or antiviral drugs. The virus isolates in the 2009 outbreak have been found resistant to amantadine and rimantadine.

It takes one SMS, one bloody SMS, to spread all this terror. Sometimes I wonder if so much of communication technology is not turning into a menace for us.

I know, this is all serious, but maybe we need to pass this on. Now I know that once it goes on my blog, chances are that it will be made into a world edict. It could also be quoted in parliament and might become an amendment, or better, a new Law, but I am not to excited about it. These things are commonplace. What is more important, is to cure the ignorance of a nation. Because I feel, that somehow, we revel, we derive some sort of sadistic pleasure, in being victims. It is like some good thing that has happened to us – this Swine Flu. We actually crave that attention.

I wish I could be a wholesale supplier of Eucalyptus Oil. There goes one more business opportunity down the drain 😦 And with so much Nilgiri around, even the Swine won’t dare to sneeze for the next 100 years.

Me turning Himesh Reshammiya is no laughing matter :X For heaven’s sake, I don’t want to go around snivelling all my life.


One Drink Only!
When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said, "No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."

"Why is that?" the host asked.

She replied, "Because after one drink I can feel it; after two drinks… anyone can!"

HAHAHAHA (I couldn’t think of a title for this – it was waaaaaaaaaayyy too funny :D)
A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, why are you white and I am black?"

"Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party…, you are lucky that you don’t bark."

Skin Grafting
A man had an accident, so he was rushed to the hospital. The doctor had to perform an instant operation, due to his injuries. The man was wounded on the face and a deep scar was formed on his skin, but under his bushy beard. The doctor shaved off a part of the man’s beard and then performed the surgery.

Afterwards, the doctor performed more surgery to replace the missing part of the beard, so he would look good as new. The doctor cut off some of the man’s pubic hair and planted it surgically on the man’s face where the beard was missing.

The patient awakened and then after 2-3 days, he was discharged and he went back home.

After six months, the patient came to the hospital to talk to the doctor who performed his operation. The patient said, "Doc, everything is okay, but a peculiar thing has happened to me many times."

The doctor asks, "What is happening?"

The patient replies, "Whenever I scratch my beard, my penis gets erect!"



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